I woke up so proud of myself. I could feel a difference in my upper body. It felt "tight." I can feel my muscles more. I lose weight from the top down and the bottom up, ie. the stuff in the middle is the last to go. I can see a difference in my arms after only a week. I am down on the scale again...180.4 and that is with at least a pound of water weight from my monthly bloat.
I was doing so good today...parsley, spinach, banana and honeydew melon for breakfast, watermelon for a mid-morning snack, and cucumbers, tomatoes, and sun-dried tomatoes with balsamic vinegar, dill and italian seasoning for lunch. And then it happened...my sister-in-law is staying with us and she made dinner. I felt guilty, or not hospitable, not eating some of what she made. So I had my first cooked food in seven days. I might as well have fallen off a cliff. Not only did she make dinner, but she made chocolate, chocolate chip cookies. I partook of those too. Aaargh!
To be completely honest, having sugar from the cookies after going without, was a drug-like feeling. I felt a buzz and a sluggishness come over me. My food-addiction kicked in immediately. Instead of having a few bites of her food and maybe one cookie, I had a plate full of dinner and at least eight cookies. One of the things I noticed when eating totally raw was that I didn't crave sugar. Once I ate sugar today, I kept eating it. It is good, but I can never get enough of it. Fruit on the other hand is wonderfully satisfying. I get my "sweet" fix, but I don't overeat.
Old habits don't go away easily. i got sucked backwards by the rubber band around the tree behind me (see post on Day Three). But all is not lost. It is time to get back on my horse and ride again. I know how great I feel when I eat raw. I know how my body slims down when I eat raw. Tomorrow is a new day...but I can't rely on my tomorrows. Isn't there a Garth Brooks' song about that...how tomorrow never comes?
Whenever I get close to experiencing a drop in weight, I sabotauge myself. I knew that tomorrow I would be in the 170s. What do you know...I sabotauged myself and I won't be in the 170s tomorrow. My mental thermostat has been pegged in the 180s. Time to do some introspection and figure out how to reset that thermostat...even if it is to the 170s. Baby steps. I want to end up in the high 140s. I have been there before and I looked and felt amazing.
When I did HCG a year and a half ago, I started in the mid 180s and got down to 147. Here I am eighteen months later back to the 180s. On HCG I dropped like a rock, but didn't really change my eating habits. Yes it is a semi-starvation diet and when I got off it I returned to my old ways.
Tomorrow I will be perfectly raw again. To help me more committed, I am going to read the blogs of other people who are on this journey as well. It is kind of like reading the scriptures. When I read the scriptures each day, I am focused on living God's will for me and I am strengthened to overcome temptations that would lead me to make choices contrary to His will. Likewise, learning from others who are firmly committed to the raw lifestyle helps me to make good choices and reminds me of why I want to eat raw.
Sunday, July 4, 2010
Saturday, July 3, 2010
Day Seven
I feel sooooo good today. What a difference eating raw makes. My weight hasn't dropped much today, but its that time of the month to have a bit of water retention.
My husband and I were in charge of a neighborhood breakfast this morning. There was fruit, muffins, and cinnamon rolls. Fortunately I was so busy taking care of the games and kids' parade, that I didn't have time to be tempted by the good food. When it was all over I had lots of watermelon.
We took our children to the movies this afternoon. The movie theater is a place of great temptation for me. However today I walked in fully committed to being healthy. I constantly have to remind myself how bad I felt last week. This makes a big difference for me.
I was really proud of myself today. I ate completely raw, eventhough I was in some situations were I would typically lose my willpower and fall into the abyss.
My husband and I were in charge of a neighborhood breakfast this morning. There was fruit, muffins, and cinnamon rolls. Fortunately I was so busy taking care of the games and kids' parade, that I didn't have time to be tempted by the good food. When it was all over I had lots of watermelon.
We took our children to the movies this afternoon. The movie theater is a place of great temptation for me. However today I walked in fully committed to being healthy. I constantly have to remind myself how bad I felt last week. This makes a big difference for me.
I was really proud of myself today. I ate completely raw, eventhough I was in some situations were I would typically lose my willpower and fall into the abyss.
Friday, July 2, 2010
Day Six
My weight finally came down some today to 180.9. The last time I ate like this I dropped about ten pounds my first ten days. The first two days this time I lost a lot of water weight, but the scale is not moving as well as last time.
Tonight I felt some major temptation to stop eating this way for the next few days. We have company and my sister-in-law is a great cook. We went shopping and hearing all the great things she wants to make for Sunday dinner tempted me to stop until after our camping trip. But I know that it is hard to get started again once I stop. Fortunately I experienced my temptation while at Costco. As I looked around and saw all of the overweight, unhealthy people, I thought of why I want to live a raw lifestyle. It isn't just for weight loss. It is for healthy and longevity as well. I am in my early forties and I have a two year old. I want to live a long time and be very healthy and active late into life.
Breakfast: Grapefruit and pineapple
Snack: Mangos and more pineapple
Lunch: Watermelon and green smoothie
Snack: Pineapple
Dinner: Salsa with cucumbers, green smoothie
Snack: Soaked oat groats with berries and raw agave
Tonight I felt some major temptation to stop eating this way for the next few days. We have company and my sister-in-law is a great cook. We went shopping and hearing all the great things she wants to make for Sunday dinner tempted me to stop until after our camping trip. But I know that it is hard to get started again once I stop. Fortunately I experienced my temptation while at Costco. As I looked around and saw all of the overweight, unhealthy people, I thought of why I want to live a raw lifestyle. It isn't just for weight loss. It is for healthy and longevity as well. I am in my early forties and I have a two year old. I want to live a long time and be very healthy and active late into life.
Breakfast: Grapefruit and pineapple
Snack: Mangos and more pineapple
Lunch: Watermelon and green smoothie
Snack: Pineapple
Dinner: Salsa with cucumbers, green smoothie
Snack: Soaked oat groats with berries and raw agave
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Day Five
I was a bit bummed this morning when I weighed myself and I was 181.9 this morning. Kind of heading in the wrong direction, no eh? I wonder if my calories were a bit higher yesterday. I know weight loss is a function of more calories expended than consumed. Or perhaps I combined sugars and fats which causes a spike an insulin and thus weight gain. Or perhaps it was a full moon and the stars weren't aligned. :)
I really tried to focus on eating a lot of fruits and not as much fat today. I also learned from yesterday to plan ahead when I would be gone for long stretches of time. I took food with my on my appointments so it was easier to stay on track.
I really tried to focus on eating a lot of fruits and not as much fat today. I also learned from yesterday to plan ahead when I would be gone for long stretches of time. I took food with my on my appointments so it was easier to stay on track.
Day Four
My weight was up a titch to 181.7 this morning. Weight loss is never linear.
I had a few temptations to cheat or quit this altogether today. The 4th of July weekend is coming up and we are going camping for three days next week. But I knew about both of these when I started my 30 day experiment. I have to remember how awful I felt when I started this just four days ago. I was willing to start this regardless of the upcoming activities.
I didn't plan very well today and had a few tough stretches. I went to an appointment at 10am having only eaten a big slice of watermelon. It was only supposed to be a quick appointment. But I didn't get back until almost 1pm. Needless to say, I was famished. Fortunately someone gave me several pieces of fruit leather (dehydrated fruit, so its okay.) That helped, but I did have a few waves of nausea due to my hunger.
I need to be sure to plan ahead and take food with me when I go out the door, even if I don't think I'm going to need it.
Breakfast: Watermelon
Snack: Fruit leather
Lunch: Mango (1), Figs (3)
Snack: Green smoothie--banana, berries, parsley, spinach, and stevia leaves
Dinner: Raw corn on the cob and I broke down and had a few bites of my children's cooked corn on the cob, unfried rice
Snack: Avocado
I will admit that even though no one may ever read this blog, I didn't quit today because of this blog. I don't want a public record of me quitting on something. I wanted to be accountable to someone or something. So I'm accountable to my blog and any potential readers that may come my way.
Snack:
I had a few temptations to cheat or quit this altogether today. The 4th of July weekend is coming up and we are going camping for three days next week. But I knew about both of these when I started my 30 day experiment. I have to remember how awful I felt when I started this just four days ago. I was willing to start this regardless of the upcoming activities.
I didn't plan very well today and had a few tough stretches. I went to an appointment at 10am having only eaten a big slice of watermelon. It was only supposed to be a quick appointment. But I didn't get back until almost 1pm. Needless to say, I was famished. Fortunately someone gave me several pieces of fruit leather (dehydrated fruit, so its okay.) That helped, but I did have a few waves of nausea due to my hunger.
I need to be sure to plan ahead and take food with me when I go out the door, even if I don't think I'm going to need it.
Breakfast: Watermelon
Snack: Fruit leather
Lunch: Mango (1), Figs (3)
Snack: Green smoothie--banana, berries, parsley, spinach, and stevia leaves
Dinner: Raw corn on the cob and I broke down and had a few bites of my children's cooked corn on the cob, unfried rice
Snack: Avocado
I will admit that even though no one may ever read this blog, I didn't quit today because of this blog. I don't want a public record of me quitting on something. I wanted to be accountable to someone or something. So I'm accountable to my blog and any potential readers that may come my way.
Snack:
Tuesday, June 29, 2010
Day Three
My weight is 181.5 today. I knew when I started two days ago at 187.3 that I was carrying a lot of water and food in my intestines from our weekend trip. Little did I know that is was 6.5 pounds! I am grateful to be rid of it, but I am more excited to start kicking in the fat loss.
My husband and I did a weight loss contest with several friends. We started in mid-January of this year and it ends tomorrow. My starting weight was approximately 187. In the last six months my weight has been like a yo-yo. I have lost and regained the same ten pounds about five times.
I remember reading a book on called Quantum Thinking ten years ago. My memory of the content of most of the book is very vague. It had to do with setting and accomplishing your goals. However one picture in the book has stuck with me to this day. Imagine if you will the goals you are trying to achieve ahead of you several feet. The more you think about them, the more you are drawn to them. It is like there is a rubber band around you and your goals and you are naturally drawn towards them. However, there is a big tree behind you. The tree represents all of your habits and limiting beliefs. There is another rubber band that goes around you and the tree. As the rubber band in front of you draws you towards your goals, the rubber band behind you connecting you to the tree gets stretched further and further. What does a rubber band want to do the more it is stretched out? You guessed it, it tries to shrink back to its original size, thus pulling you backwards towards your old habits and limiting beliefs. Thus, you "yo-yo" back and forth between your goals and your habits/beliefs. That physical representation of that zone is the ten pounds that I have lost and gained over and over. How do I cut that darn rubber band behind me? What is stoppping me? Hopefully writing this blog as I go on my journey will help me see what is stopping me and let it go.
My husband and I did a weight loss contest with several friends. We started in mid-January of this year and it ends tomorrow. My starting weight was approximately 187. In the last six months my weight has been like a yo-yo. I have lost and regained the same ten pounds about five times.
I remember reading a book on called Quantum Thinking ten years ago. My memory of the content of most of the book is very vague. It had to do with setting and accomplishing your goals. However one picture in the book has stuck with me to this day. Imagine if you will the goals you are trying to achieve ahead of you several feet. The more you think about them, the more you are drawn to them. It is like there is a rubber band around you and your goals and you are naturally drawn towards them. However, there is a big tree behind you. The tree represents all of your habits and limiting beliefs. There is another rubber band that goes around you and the tree. As the rubber band in front of you draws you towards your goals, the rubber band behind you connecting you to the tree gets stretched further and further. What does a rubber band want to do the more it is stretched out? You guessed it, it tries to shrink back to its original size, thus pulling you backwards towards your old habits and limiting beliefs. Thus, you "yo-yo" back and forth between your goals and your habits/beliefs. That physical representation of that zone is the ten pounds that I have lost and gained over and over. How do I cut that darn rubber band behind me? What is stoppping me? Hopefully writing this blog as I go on my journey will help me see what is stopping me and let it go.
Breakfast: Watermelon (of course!)
Snack: Two grapefruits
Lunch: Raw Oat Groats that I soaked overnight, blueberries, and raw agave nectar. I pulsed them in my food processor to "scarify" them. When you scarify them, the food processor blade nicks the hull of the oat groat so it soaks up water easier. This was very good!
Snack: Un-fried Rice--recipe modified from the one on Raw for Life DVD. It's made of 1 1/2 cups of soaked scarified wild rice, and one cup each of finely chopped carrots, celery, broccoli, tomatoes, and sun dried tomatoes. The sun-dried tomatoes I used were in olive oil, so I didn't add any more oil. I added Naman Shoyu (raw soy sauce), salt and pepper. Very yummy!!! I had one bowl full and had to come back for another bowl. Definitely a combination I will eat again and again. The rice was soaked for about 24 hours. I changed the water last night and this morning.
Dinner: Un-fried Rice
Snack: Bowl of cherry tomatoes
Monday, June 28, 2010
Day Two
Day 2
As expected, my weight was down today to 183.8. I loved seeing that number on the scale. I hope that I am on a continual downhill slide when it comes to my weight.
Today was not too hard. I ate mostly fruit during the morning and midday. I found myself wanting something more...but it wasn't a physical craving. It was a desire to eat. At no time was I hungry, yet in the afternoon and early evening I wanted the feeling of something heavy on my stomach.
Breakfast: Watermelon (it's a great time of year when the watermelons are ripe and juicy!)
Snack: Green smoothie--parsley (lots), spinach, stevia, and two bananas
Lunch: Watermelon
Late afternoon meal: Huge spinach salad with a whole avocado, juice from half of a lemon, grape tomatoes, basil from my garden, cayenne pepper, and salt. Note to self: go easy on the basil :)
Evening: Tomatoes
As I write this, I can see that I probably need to expand my food choices and the volume of food I am eating. I really wasn't hungry though. I didn't have much of an appetite, perhaps because I ate so much last weekend on my trip and I felt so gross. I did go to Costco today to buy more fruits and vegetables. I try to buy organic when I can. My local grocery store has a lot of organic produce, but I don't go out of my way to drive 15 minutes to buy 100% organic at the health food store. My garden is growing like crazy. Soon I will be enjoying my own organically grown vegetables.
As expected, my weight was down today to 183.8. I loved seeing that number on the scale. I hope that I am on a continual downhill slide when it comes to my weight.
Today was not too hard. I ate mostly fruit during the morning and midday. I found myself wanting something more...but it wasn't a physical craving. It was a desire to eat. At no time was I hungry, yet in the afternoon and early evening I wanted the feeling of something heavy on my stomach.
Breakfast: Watermelon (it's a great time of year when the watermelons are ripe and juicy!)
Snack: Green smoothie--parsley (lots), spinach, stevia, and two bananas
Lunch: Watermelon
Late afternoon meal: Huge spinach salad with a whole avocado, juice from half of a lemon, grape tomatoes, basil from my garden, cayenne pepper, and salt. Note to self: go easy on the basil :)
Evening: Tomatoes
As I write this, I can see that I probably need to expand my food choices and the volume of food I am eating. I really wasn't hungry though. I didn't have much of an appetite, perhaps because I ate so much last weekend on my trip and I felt so gross. I did go to Costco today to buy more fruits and vegetables. I try to buy organic when I can. My local grocery store has a lot of organic produce, but I don't go out of my way to drive 15 minutes to buy 100% organic at the health food store. My garden is growing like crazy. Soon I will be enjoying my own organically grown vegetables.
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